Self Esteem and LIT

Feeling bad about yourself? Feeling unworthy of love or friendship? Feeling guilty about things you’ve done in the past? Feeling like your personality is just too flawed for you to be able to fit in with the rest of society? These thoughts and feelings can arise for different reasons. Whatever the reasons, feeling and thinking better about yourself is possible, and may be easier than you might have thought.

I’ve struggled with low self esteem, and I’ve talked with many people from different parts of the world with negative perceptions of themselves. The reasons vary, but, like everything else, shifting our perspective can change everything.

First of all, if we’re thinking negatively about ourselves because of mistakes we’ve made in the past, we need to remember that we are not alone in this experience. Maybe we unintentionally hurt someone physically or emotionally/mentally. Maybe we were experiencing some intense anger, pain or anxiety and lashed out at someone we cared about. Maybe we just didn’t fully realize what the negative consequences of our actions might be on others. Maybe we didn’t realize how much the harmful things that we do to ourselves have an influence on other people, too. Whatever it might have been, we have to acknowledge/remember/accept that we all make mistakes. We. All. Make. Mistakes. This is inevitable.

Can we forgive ourselves? And can we forgive others for making the mistakes they’ve made? Sometimes, maybe even often, it can be easier to forgive others for their mistakes or offenses, telling them it’s ok, and that we know that it really wasn’t their deeper intention or desire to cause harm or problems. We acknowledge and remind them that they were just in a bad way at the moment, experiencing some rough emotions that made them act against their better judgment. Recognizing this for someone else can be liberating for both them and us. Can we do the same for ourselves? Can we recognize that we all, including ourselves, make mistakes and that our deeper intentions are to find peace and happiness?

Second, consider the fact that we simply cannot control everything. In fact, there are many things that are out of our control. Each of us comes into this world with strengths and weaknesses. It’s just a fact. Some of us might be strong in math but terrible with social skills. Some might be great at art but terrible in business. Some of us might anger easily, and some of us might have more patience. We don’t have much, if any, control of how we started in this world. We just have to do our best to make the most of our strengths and become stronger where there’s deficiency. But even then, we can’t control all the outcomes. Nature, or God, is ultimately in control of everything. Assuming too much responsibility or power will only leave us with more grief and a sense of failure.

Third, we can accept a boost in self esteem when we understand that each of us is doing our best to find peace, safety, security, strength, happiness, creativity, and all the other positive qualities of life. This is self care, or self love, and each of us has our own unique way of doing that. Again, we will make big or small mistakes on our journies, but this is a crucial part of the learning process. It’s how we learn. It’s how we gain insights and wisdom.

As usual with the Light Inside Technique (LIT), allow yourself to soul search and do VERSes (see the article on this site entitled “3 Steps…”) – Vent, Express, Release and Share. Make good use of the negative energy, the negative thoughts and emotions, and then recognize that we can’t control everything, we can’t know everything, and that we all make mistakes. And finally, appreciate that you are doing your best to find peace of mind and happiness.

Peace!